Manufacturer: Big Finish Productions

Written By: John Lloyd (adapted by Nev Fountain)

RRP: £14.99 (CD) / £12.99 (Download)

Release Date: March 2021

Reviewed by: Robert Emlyn Slater for Doctor Who Online

"Earth - a small, insignificant planet. Entirely devoid of intelligent life. 

At least, that’s according to the legal documents. The Doctor, Romana, and K9 find themselves at the centre of the most unusual trial. 

An intergalactic corporation wants to bulldoze the planet for a development project. Only a previous court’s preservation document is standing in their way. The Doctor has been summoned as an expert witness. If he can prove Earth contains intelligent life, the whole world will be saved. 

But with a fortune at stake, it was never going to be that simple."

WARNING: The following review contains spoilers. You have been warned!

As a huge Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fan, when I heard that this lost adventure by Hitchhiker’s partial co-writer John Lloyd, featuring one of my favourite classic TARDIS teams, was coming to Big Finish audios, it’s safe to say that I was very excited. Reading this month’s Doctor Who Magazine interview with Lloyd and finding out what was in store just increased my anticipation further, so I went into this play with very high hopes indeed. 

The Doomsday Contract was originally developed by TV comedy producer John Lloyd to be made as part of the show’s seventeenth season back in 1979. However, after being asked to rewrite it one too many times, Lloyd decided to give up on it and go to work on Not the Nine O’Clock News instead. Script editor Douglas Adams passed on the story to Allan Prior, however, his version of the story was also ultimately rejected, and eventually, after a stint spent in development hell, the story was cancelled and forgotten about. Until now, that is. 

Adapted by Nev Fountain, The Doomsday Contract is about the Doctor, Romana, and K-9’s holiday being cut short by a court summons. The case? To prove that the Earth does in fact contain intelligent life. If the Doctor fails, the planet will be bulldozed by an intergalactic corporation in the name of a development project, a plot point that is, of course, very reminiscent of a certain radio series by a certain Douglas Adams. 

However, in true Doctor Who style, things start to go a bit pear-shaped, and what was originally a simple courtroom drama quickly turns into a lot of running down corridors being chased by killer children, giant slugs, and what seem to be medieval peasants. Yes, you did read all of that correctly. 

As you would most likely expect, this is a very funny story. It is essentially Doctor Who meets Hitchhiker’s and is full of plot points, characters, and ridiculous anecdotes that you would find within the pages of a Douglas Adams novel. You can tell that John Lloyd was going for a Hitchhiker’s vibe with this adventure, and I’m glad to say it absolutely works. 

Although I found the first part of the story to be a little too slow for my liking, things definitely start to pick up a bit when the Children of Pyxis turn up, and never really let up until the court’s final judgement has been passed. 

As discussed in the behind-the-scenes feature (and in Lloyd’s interview with DWM) the Children of Pyxis were one of the elements that had to be dropped from his initial storyline due to the production team being less than keen to depict children with weapons on prime-time television. However, in this new version of the adventure, the juvenile assassins are reinstated as part of the story and make for menacing little baddies. There really isn’t anything creepier than killer children in my eyes. Especially killer children who don’t realise that what they’re doing is wrong. 

I did find it slightly disappointing at how easily dispatched the Children of Pyxis were by the Doctor, Romana, and K-9 though. I’m not a huge fan of the ‘sonic screwdriver saves the day’ trope the modern series seems to have popularised, so it was a bit of a letdown seeing that aspect of the show turn up in this otherwise fantastic audio drama. 

There were a couple of other instances where the characters were given an overly easy get-out-of-jail-free card too. One instance was when Romana and Kovaks (Spencer Banks) were trapped in a wine cellar hiding from killer slugs, and the other was when the Wadifalayeen turned up to kill the Doctor, only for us to find out that they owe him a blood debt from an unseen previous adventure. Whilst these ‘lucky’ coincidences and escapes for the Doctor and his friends did border on overly-convenient, for the most part, they didn’t affect my overall enjoyment of the story. 

The guest cast for this drama was also excellent. I particularly enjoyed Richard Laing’s snide, almost cheerfully evil villain, Skorpios, and was a big fan of Nicholas Briggs’ Foreman of the Lost Jury. Both characters could easily have been plucked straight from an adventure in the Hitchhikers’ universe and dropped into the world of Doctor Who. 

Jeany Spark and Julian Wadham were also welcome additions to the cast and definitely played a role in making this story as enjoyable as it was. 

This TARDIS team, consisting of Romana, the Fourth Doctor, and K-9, is, as I said, easily one of my all-time favourites, and I had a great time listening to them bounce off each other once more. The Doctor and K-9’s little jaunt into the Witness Protection Micro-verse was a big highlight for me, whilst Romana’s heist plot was also just as enjoyable.  

Overall, I was very impressed with this story and loved how silly, funny, and downright ridiculous it was at times. Tom Baker is clearly having a lot of fun with the material that he’s been given, and the absurdity and comedy of the story definitely satisfied my Hitchhikers cravings for sure. 

If you are a fan of when Doctor Who is a bit sillier than usual and doesn't take itself too seriously, or if you’re just a fan of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in general, then you won’t be disappointed with this story in the slightest! 

+ The Doomsday Contract is OUT NOW, priced £14.99 (CD) / £12.99 (Download).

+ ORDER this title on Amazon!

Manufacturer: Big Finish Productions

Written By: Alan Terigo, Susan Dennom, Andrew Lias & Nev Fountain

RRP: £14.99 (CD) / £12.99 (Download)

Release Date: December 2019

Reviewed by: Nick Mellish for Doctor Who Online

Blood On Santa's Claw by Alan Terigo

"The Doctor, Peri and Joe land on the planet Naxios, where they discover the body of Father Christmas.

Who killed him? The strange individuals dressed in Shakespearian costume or the talking animals wearing waistcoats digging in the tunnels?"

The Baby Awakes by Susan Dennom

"The Doctor, Peri and Joe visit the Ishtar institute, where the term 'designer babies' takes on a new and sinister meaning. Will our heroes survive Christmas day?"

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day by Andrew Lias

"A Christmas party that's been going on for three years. Strange silver robots who guard the Christmas decorations with lethal force. What is the secret behind the festivities on Tate Galactic?" 

Brightly Shone The Moon That Night by Nev Fountain

"The TARDIS crew encounters a shameful secret of the Time Lords. History has been rewritten, and this time it's all the Doctor's fault."  

WARNING: The following review contains spoilers. You have been warned!

Ho ho ho! Just as Christmas is an annual event, so too is the Big Finish 4x4 play and this year we have Blood on Santa’s Claw.

In the past, some of these releases have given us completely standalone plays (such as Circular Time) and some have linked them (1001 Nights, for example). Blood does the latter whilst trying to trick you into believing it’s the former. (This subterfuge extends to just who wrote the various plays, with pseudonyms being used to try and throw you off track.) I’m not sure this trick entirely works seeing as the second play opens with beats very reminiscent of the first one, and that alone was enough to make me fairly sure that everything here was going to be connected, but hats off to them all the same for giving it a go, even if I am unsure why they did it. To give the plays an air of mystery? To try and make Joe, Peri’s boyfriend in these plays, feel more of a permanent fixture and less a one-shot character?

Perhaps the latter, though I cannot recall any publicity trying to hint at future appearances for him. Because of this, from the get go I was looking for hints that he was up to no good, so when this was revealed I was less than shocked, but then again I do listen to an awful lot of Big Finish Doctor Who releases, so this may not be the case for other fans.

The release kicks off with the titular Blood on Santa’s Claw, which is not only the best play in this anthology by some chalk but also the best play Big Finish have put out for ages now. I found myself laughing hard at times and wishing to know more about the world it painted. This sense of joy is enhanced by great performances across the board, but I’ll draw especial attention here to Heather Bleasdale as Cordelia and Becky Wright as Mole, all of whom impressively stand out in a cast that is universally brilliant.

The Baby Awakes was probably my least favourite of the plays, being one which puts Peri through the emotional wringer but which never really hit for me. It tries very hard to get a reaction and twinge from its listeners, and for me it felt like it perhaps tried too hard to do so, and was less natural in its intent.

We end with what is in actuality a two-parter. Now, I mentioned earlier that I listen to a lot of Big Finish Doctor Who plays, so some things will inevitably strike me as repetitive or old in a way that would not occur for others who have listened to far less. This may help explain that when the antagonists overall were revealed to be werewolf-like creatures, I just sighed. Much like their obsession with Vardans, Big Finish seem to be using werewolves a lot at the moment, be it in the main range or in things like their War Master series, and I had an acute sense of déjà vu as a result. It doesn’t help that the same two or three wolf noises are used again and again in the background upon their revelation, looping, but I do wonder if that’s actually an in-joke of sorts as this looping wolf noise is near identical (if not the very same one) to one used in countless BBC TV shows, including The Time Meddler.  Perhaps this is just Big Finish poking fun and adding to a sense of televisual authenticity? I applaud them for it if it is that, and if not then… well, it’s irritating but I’ll let it pass. It’s Christmas, after all.

Speaking of, the Christmas theme felt slightly shoehorned in at times, but never to the extent that it was distracting. I do wonder though if this will herald in more Christmas specials as annual events now? I hope not. I’ve mentioned before that Big Finish often suffer from a feeling of revisiting past glories with threadbare results, and I’m not sure this should be encouraged further still.

As for this particular release, as a four-play series it didn’t wow me: but! It is worth the admission price for the opening story alone. Everything that comes after is fun enough and Nev Fountain (for it is he who wrote them all) is enjoying himself, but for a Christmas treat alone, Blood on Santa’s Claw as an individual episode is perhaps the best I could have received as a Doctor Who fan: inventive, clever, amusing, and brilliantly acted, this is the Christmas treat we’ve been craving and the best Christmas Special the show has had for a long time.

For that alone, I cannot help but leave this play with a smile.

+ Blood on Santa's Claw and Other Stories is OUT NOW, priced £14.99 (CD) / £12.99 (Download).

+ ORDER this title on Amazon!

Manufacturer: Big Finish Productions

Written By: Roy Gill, John Dorney, Nev Fountain & Jonathan Morris

RRP: £23.00 (CD) / £20.00 (Download)

Release Date: February 2019

Reviewed by: Chris Swaby for Doctor Who Online

A Spoonful Of Mayhem - By Roy Gill

"In a spot of bother in Victorian London, Missy is forced to take on governess duties.

But she has another scheme in mind, and her charges are simply in the way. She’s going to have to teach the children some rather harsh lessons about getting what you want."

Divorced, Beheaded, Regenerated - By John Dorney

"Missy arrives in Tudor England, throwing the plans of another renegade Time Lord into chaos.

King Henry VIII is on the throne, and aliens are stomping through the countryside. Missy just wants to be Queen.

And the Monk? Once he knows who else is on the scene, he’ll be glad just to stay alive…"

The Broken Clock - By Nev Fountain

"Tonight, on Dick Zodiac’s America’s Most Impossible Killers, Detective Joe Lynwood hunts the most impossible killer of his career.

There’s a trail of bodies. Impossible bodies. And Joe has one long night to solve the case.

Luckily, DI Missy Masters from Scotland Yard in England, London, England is here to help…"

The Belly Of The Beast - By Jonathan Morris

"Missy’s scheme nears completion. All she must do is subjugate one little planet and bend the inhabitants to her will. Not too much to ask…

But slaves will keep rebelling. It’s almost as if they don’t want to unearth an ancient artefact to fulfil Missy’s plans for universal domination.

She’ll have to do something about that."

One sentence. A world of possibilities. When these words featured in “The Lie of The Land", it seemed so obvious yet so overlooked, what does The Master do when The Doctor isn’t around? Well, thanks to Big Finish this question has been answered.  

A Spoonful of Mayhem
By Roy Gill

So, to open, Missy is stuck in Victorian England. Punished for a crime she is yet to commit, she is trapped by Mr. Cosmo (her warden) with no TARDIS, no Vortex Manipulator and worst of all? Not being allowed to dispatch anyone who gets in her way. 

On advice from Mr Cosmo, she finds a job. The one you would never expect Missy to take is exactly the job she gains. A nanny. Despite the outfit and umbrella, Mary Poppins she isn’t! Well, she teaches the kids in her charge, but in true Missy fashion, this is a means for her own ends. The kids, as supporting characters are a bit under-realized but perfectly serviceable for the story with a nice bit of conflict thrown in towards the end

Missy’s aims are simple, escape the constraints that have been placed on her. This involves a lot of different steps and missions, which slowly come together in the climax. There is plenty of fun for her to have along the way and Michelle Gomez sounds like she is having a blast reprising this role.

This is a very different Missy we are introduced to in the first episode. She is at her sarcastic and threatening best in the opening scene but if you think that sets the tone for the character in this episode then you may be a bit let down. We get to see a bit of a softer version of Missy, whether this is down to her as a character or the fact she is constrained from being able to seriously hurt others is left pretty ambiguous here.

The story is very well written. It moves along at a good pace without ever feeling padded or that scenes are dragging. There is a good amount of mystery than unravels without ever feeling like there are signposts to how it is going to end, which ties up well with the unpredictable nature of Missy as a character. The only minor quibble that I have is some of the acting of Oliver Clement. There are points when the story reaches the climax and the character is supposed to be scared but you just don’t get that from the vocal performance at all. Added to this, the same character provides narration and although this isn't performed badly, it does take you out of the story and feels a bit unnecessary to the story overall. 

All in all, a very promising start to the box set! 

Divorced, Beheaded, Regenerated
By John Dorney

Sticking with a historical theme, the second episode is set in Tudor England. The Meddling Monk, hiding from The Time War and stuck with a broken TARDIS is attempting to alter existing time-lines in the hope of rescue from his fellow Time Lords. Missy, on the other hand, is also stranded, needing a vital piece to fix her Vortex Manipulator. Each knowing a fellow time traveller is at work nearby, they both have designs on obtaining what they need from the other.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t that impressed with Rufus Hound's incarnation of The Monk in “The Side Of Angels”. I’m glad to say that this episode has redeemed the character somewhat. It still isn't my favourite incarnation but this is a vast improvement. This is entirely down to the dialogue and the way Hound and Gomez bounce off each other. The back and forth at times is a riot and it was a genius move to pair these two together.

The problem this causes for the episode it that, as so much is focused on Missy and the Monk, there isn't much room for an actual threat to be evident. The villains of the piece are the Gramorians, a race of collectors that are looking for significant people throughout the galaxy to vacuum pack for their own personal enjoyment. As such, they barely feature apart from a few brief interludes in the run-up to the climax, and when they do come face to face with Missy and the Monk it ends up being very underwhelming.

Having said that, there was no feeling of disappointment when it finished. The good in this episode far outweighs the bad. Again Missy is far less erratic or psychopathic in this episode and it is nice to see another side of her rather than hitting the same beats that are expected of the character again and again.

A very worthy entry into the series and one I would have no problems sitting through again!

The Broken Clock
By Nev Fountain  

Moving on from the historicals, this episode finds us still on Earth, but back in the present day. Detective Joe Lynwood is facing multiple murders and the toughest and most impossible case of his career to date. Fortunately for him, help is at hand from DI Missy Masters of Scotland Yard…. 

The story is told, mainly in the format of an American true crime T.V show, “Dick Zodiac’s America’s most impossible killers”, so you can expect a lot of narration over the running time. However it isn't as straight forward as it seems and at times the fourth wall is not so much broken as it is smashed, pulverized and turned to dust. 

I found this to be a strange and ambitious entry into the series and unfortunately I don’t think it really works as well as it should have. It takes a while to get going as the first two tracks are told in the format of the aforementioned American T.V style and it really starts to grate after a minute or two. It is so over the top and the initial voice acting from the narrator and cast really starts to jar. I’m aware that this is the angle that they are going for but it just didn’t land for me at all.

The constant interjection of the narrator and how it is linked into the story really feel like it gets in the way of what should be an interesting story and leaves the pacing of the piece a bit all over the place. The pace does pick up a little bit towards the end and once the killer is revealed it does become a lot more interesting, however at this point it all feels too little too late.

Missy is a bit different in this story from the preceding two. The sarcasm and madness are still there but the fun side to her has been toned down and there is not much or her psychopathy on display to make up for that either. This also contributes to the story feeling a bit flat, which is a real shame given the premise promises so much and delivers very little. 

The Belly Of The Beast
By Jonathan Morris 

After three Earthbound stories, finally, we get to see what Missy gets up to when out and about in the rest of the universe. What is it that she is up to? Well surprise, surprise it’s enslavement, subjugation, and scheming. Perfect!

In full control of a planet, she is using the local population to work in the mines in the hope of uncovering an ancient artefact. There is just one small problem, they would rather rebel than suffer. The story rattles along and is probably the most action-packed along with the first episode. Each scene takes you forward and there is not much in the way of lengthy dialogue scenes. The end of the episode leaves Missy on a high and a very intriguing prospect if there is to be a second series. 

This story really brings together the feeling of any number of The Master's grand plans and a healthy dash of every quality from Missy that we have seen from Doctor Who and the other parts of this release. Missy really gets to show off her psychopathy, lack of empathy, sarcasm and just how “Bananas” she can be. It is easily the strongest script for Michelle Gomez to show off her wide range of skills and for any fan of Missy, this will tick every box. 

So, would I recommend this release?

Well, if you’re a fan of Missy then it really is a no brainer, there is plenty of the familiar for fans and a fair touch of new stuff to keep it interesting and non repetitive. If your not the biggest fan of Missy then I would still recommend this based on three out of the four episodes, I think there is enough there to be enjoyed story wise even if you are not enticed by the main draw of Missy.

All I can say is, bring on series two!

+ Missy - Series One is OUT NOW, priced £23.00 (CD) / £20.00 (Download).

+ ORDER this title on Amazon!

Manufacturer: Big Finish Productions

Written By: LM Myles, Mark Ravenhill, Una McCormack & Nev Fountain

RRP: £14.99 (CD) / £12.99 (Download)

Release Date: July 2014

Reviewed by: Nick Mellish for Doctor Who Online

Review Posted: 16th July 2014

Breaking Bubbles by LM Myles
The Doctor and Peri find themselves in the palatial gardens of the deposed Empress Safira Valtris where nothing is ever quite what it seems.

Of Chaos Time The by Mark Ravenhill
Cast adrift in his own chronology, the Doctor must avert the consequences of a catastrophic experiment in using time as a weapon of war.

An Eye For Murder by Una McCormack
The year is 1939, and a case of poison pen letters at St Ursula’s College threatens to change the course of the Second World War. Fortunately thriller writer Miss Sarah Perry is on hand to investigate...

The Curious Incident Of The Doctor In The Night-Time by Nev Fountain
Michael is a young boy who likes to solve mysteries, such as the mystery of the extra gnome, the mystery of the absent father, and the mystery of the strange man in yellow trousers at the bottom of the garden.

* * *
It’s that time of the year again, when Big Finish pauses for a bit in the run of trilogies and gives us one of its ‘4x1’ releases. Ever since the highs of Circular Time, these releases have become something to look forward to (in my eyes, at least). 1001 Nights and Recorded Time were both hits in my eyes, so I was looking forward to listening to this release.

The key to getting these sort of releases ‘right’, is in creating stories slight enough to fill up half an hour but with enough detail to not feel slight; to have a plot which doesn’t feel wasted by using it up in only one episode but is arresting enough to feel just right. Short episodes, like short stories, are an art form to get right, and thankfully, this release as a whole gets it right. Naturally, there are some stories I definitely preferred to others, some plots which arrested me more than others, but in terms of all being decently-crafted episodes, this CD ticks the boxes.

Given that it covers four separate stories, I’ll look at each of them in turn for this review.

First up, we get Breaking Bubbles itself, by LM Myles. I rather liked the way this tale manages to distill much of what is typical about Doctor Who into one episode, whilst also playing it. So, we get The Doctor and his companion separated, but they end up in part working against one another. We get a prisoner and escort tale, but neither of them are as black and white as is so often the case. Indeed, this theme of playing with perception proves to be the foundation of this play: who people appear to be and who they really are; actions they say they will take but may not.

The ending is perhaps a bit rushed, but no more than you would get if there were two episodes to play with. Myles has written a strong start to the overall release and an interesting tale in its own right.

Next up is the appropriately confusingly titled Of Chaos Time The by Mark Ravenhill. If Breaking Bubbles felt like it got things started quickly, Of Chaos Time The makes it look positively pedestrian in comparison. We literally hit the ground running, caught up midway through an adventure... as does The Doctor. Again, it’s a neat take on an old trope: starting the story when it’s already well underway, except this time the protagonist is every bit as confused as the listener. Long-time listeners of Big Finish release will see similarities to Creatures of Beauty here with its disjointed structure, but whilst that was a novelty, here it is integral to the tale itself: time is all cockahoop, and it’s up to The Doctor to make sense of it all.

Of all the stories on this release, this is perhaps the one that feels most like a radio drama, with lots of scenes where The Doctor narrates his thinking aloud and describes what he sees, something inevitable with audio drama but perhaps a bit limiting at times. It’s certainly the episode which I felt stretched its premise out the thinnest, but not to the stage where it outstays its welcome. Even so, it proved to be the weakest of the four stories for me, whilst the next was the best.

An Eye For Murder by Una McCormack is a wonderfully atmospheric tale of mystery, tension, mistaken identity and politic. Set in the outbreak of the Second World War at St Ursula’s College, Peri is mistaken for a writer of mysteries and before too long, she is embroiled in finding out who is responsible for a particularly nasty series of letters at a time when racial and political tensions are reaching a peak: if only her pesky assistant, The Doctor, can stay out of trouble and do his typing in peace...

Taking a more sedate pace than the previous two tales, McCormack is able to cover a lot in the thirty minutes afforded to her, from ideological disparity at a time of racial tension, to the role of women at a time when emancipation and Feminism were dirty terms, whilst also having a lot of fun with the idea of The Doctor and Peri being detectives. They fit into that mould with incredible ease, and to be perfectly honest, I would easily have just listened to them solve a mystery in a purely-historical context rather than having an alien influence (though that said, the fantastical twist is rather a nice one and slots into the background well). Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant are on top form throughout this, Bryant in particular relishing the material she is given, and the guest cast are as strong as the script. If you listen to just one story on this release, this is the one to go for.

We end with The Curious Incident Of The Doctor In The Night-Time by Nev Fountain, a story which wears its influence on its sleeve and manages to simultaneously evoke Mark Haddon’s fantastic novel whilst being its own thing. As with An Eye For Murder, in many ways I’d have easily enjoyed this without its Doctor Who trappings.  I mean, I know you couldn’t do the episode without The Doctor and Peri being in it, but when they do arrive, they perhaps slow the pace down somewhat, which is a shame. Whilst The Doctor is flitting around in the background without any lines or interaction with the main protagonist, I was arguably more engaged with the tale. As soon as they appear, things become a bit more sci-fi/fantasy: which, in all fairness, is as it should be, really.  The Doctor and Peri, travellers through space and time and oddity aplenty, crashing into the ordinary day of a family and making it extraordinary. It’s just arguably not as arresting once this happens. I was more invested when we were just learning about Michael, his family, and his coming to terms with important events in his life.

And then, just when I resigned to this as my overall feelings towards this episode, Nev Fountain gives us the final scene and completely slaughtered me emotionally.  Baker is absolutely mesmerizing and incredible in those final few moments, and the heart is truly... touched. It’s as beautiful an ending to a tale as you’re likely to find and ends up making this second half stronger than the first.

So, there we have it. Four stories of varying strengths and varying settings. The final two were, for my money, the real winners, but the opener is strong and even the weakest of the four has much to celebrate. More like this, please. A real treat.